Almost Father – Pregnancy Blues of a Man


‘Pregnancy blues’ is a term generally associated with the uneasy feelings of a woman during pregnancy and for some time post pregnancy. No you didn’t read the title wrong? This post is completely about the men side of the story.

‘Single to married’ – this status change happens by an event  planned, or in some cases conspired, by the family, relatives and friends. But the decision to get into the parenting mode is a decision solely made by the couple themselves. In some cases its planned and some cases its an accident.

Few years into marriage, we also decided to extend our family. We started reading about the intricacies of achieving our goal and this resulted in an overall change in our normal routine. We started looking for special days in the month and special times of the day/night/early morning, which according to our sources, increased the chances of hitting the bulls eye. Believe me, its not as easy as it seems. I know many of our family friends who have taken pain to do the ‘act’ amidst busy night duties and so on. It is the act of prompting one nano particle, among a million, coming from me to – go and find the right partner on the other side. There are infinite chances of getting this wrong and it is completely outside our control. I think my faith in God and in the existence of Almighty increased manifold during this time. Till my marriage I was a namesake believer, like many other youngsters.

Once the p-kit showed us the right colors, it was time for us to start our hospital visits. This is the probably the one of the most inquisitive part in the life of a husband. You will be sitting in front of the doctor and many a times you will be more anxious than your wife to know if everything is going right. Wait, the exciting part is yet to come. ‘Visualization’ it is. With the advancement of technology, doctors take aid of sonography machines to understand the growth of the child. As we were going to a hospital in a metro city, I was allowed to be with my wife during sonography sessions. I strongly suggest couples to select such hospitals which allow the couples to be together during sonography sessions.

In the first sono, we saw only a pea-sized object in a fluid filled bag. I didn’t feel any wonder, I believed the doctor when she said that was the baby. The interesting part during this sono was that we could see and hear the heart beat of the baby. During the second sono – we saw a fuzzy image, head and body somewhat visible. So I started getting that ‘wow’ feeling. Probably the journey to Fatherhood started here. During the next sono we could see limbs getting formed. The doctor was patient enough to explain all my doubts, on the screen. Fourth Sono, probably we saw a miniature human in place. We could see all parts in place and could see and hear the heart beat properly. During the next sono, we could see a fully active baby, playing around in the fluid bag. I guess, by then the ‘wow’ factor got bigger and bigger in me. I started thinking about the wonderful plans of almighty for us. Remember, it all started with a nano particle from me.

For the last trimester, as per the traditional custom, my wife was at her home – enjoying her mom’s cuisine. Now we were more than 1500 km apart. I visited in between and could see and hear about the baby kicking inside the belly and in between could touch the baby across the bag. Fast forward, I was in front of the labor room. Waiting for hours and hours, finally the angel nurse came and told – ‘Its a boy’. God – that gave some special vibes to me. Hours later, the nurse gave the baby in my hands, the ‘wow’ factor at its peak. I probably became a complete believer of Almighty and his/her plans for me. This journey of nearly ten months, could transform any man completely. Just be there in the right mind set and probably you’ll pick new dimensions to your life.

Now I am again more than 1500 km away from my wife and son. Waiting for his immediate ceremonies to be over at native, so that we three can be together again in this metro city. Just like we see in ICICI advertisement ‘Khayal Aapka’ – mostly men are occupied doing many things outside home and our small acts of care doesn’t get well noticed by others. But its a new life with your little one and start it with all positive, refreshing energy. Parenting is a wonderful journey of you starting from your childhood again and learning a whole lot of new things in life. Enjoy the ride and be at your best. Keep enjoying God’s wonderful plans for us and definitely don’t miss the sonography sessions !!!

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